Guam Journey, Part 2

What followed my YES was a series of emotions. Excitement turned to feeling overwhelmed.

If you look back, I posted on November 1st about daily manna. I won’t re-say what I said, but that fresh revelation for my heart was absolutely necessary in me moving forward. I had to keep myself grounded in the present and receive what was in front of me that day. Believing that God gives us what we need for this day is what keeps us from getting sucked into the vortex of worry and future concerns.

Then in December I felt a shift. I felt off. (We have to know our ‘normal’ so that we know when something is off!) Instead of thrill, there was dread that began to settle in. I began feeling old attacks, old lies, old patterns of anxiety begin to creep in.

As many of you know, I had a journey with anxiety 10 years ago that forever changed me. Since that time, many of the tools I gained are tools I have continued to keep with me and in my regular rhythm of life. I want to list them out for anyone in that place right now. TOOLS: Tell people (friends, counselors, etc.). Be mindful of what you eat, drink, watch, listen to, think about. (This includes podcasts, shows, music, the news, social media, etc.) Exercise. Drink water. Take your vitamins. Talk with God. Read the Bible. Engaging in a mental battle involves a lot of intention. All of these things were my way of “taking my thoughts captive” (2 Cor. 10:5).

In December when these old, familiar feelings began to creep in, I knew how to take action. There isn’t some perfect bow to put on the end of these thoughts. I did begin to feel better the closer the trip got. I began to feel the dread turning to thrill. And for that, I am very thankful. But there were even moments while we were in Guam that I was having to stay vigilant to keep anxiety at bay.

I’m skipping ahead in the story really quickly, and I will go back and keep telling it chronologically, but I feel this is important to include right here. On the way home, on the flight from Guam to Tokyo, we were all scattered in the plane and not sitting with each other. I closed my eyes, put on some instrumental music, and this picture came to me as real as the phone you’re looking at right now. I saw Jesus kneeling next to me in the plane with his hand on my knee. I sensed him saying, “Remember, I’ve been with you this whole time.“

Life with Jesus is not a promise of smooth sailing. It is a promise of God with us. Emmanuel. It is a promise of being known, when we sit and when we rise. He is with us. And that is peace. And that is all we need.